Saying Goodbye
This was taken right before I left Ithaca. I married queen Penelope, and we had a bouncing baby boy Telemauchaus. I did not want to leave, to go to war with a family to support back at home. I tried to pretend I was mentally ill, but nobody believed me. They put newborn Telemauchus in a feild while I was plowing. Of course I stopped, not willing to kill my son, so I had to go to war, because the fact that I saved my son proved I was in my sane mind. The day he was born I left to go fight in (and win) the Trojan War.
First Stop: Cicones
We came here after our VICTORY! I won the war using my cunning little mind. This was a bad idea, to stop here. We ate and drank and celebrated. We went to bed with our stomachs full, and as we slept the Cicones attacked! Men were lost, and we knew we had to leave.
Second Stop: Island of the Lotus Eaters
For those of you who do not know, Lotus is a flower. It has an ability, and those who eat it loose track of time, and loose their worries. The idea is facinating, I know, but it is a trap. They fed my men Lotus, but I did not eat the drug, and was able to tell them to leave. We boarded the boat and were on our way again.
Stop 3: Polyphemus
The island of my foe. He started having a problem with me after I stabbed his eye out. He deserved it! Here is the story:
My men and I were tired and hungry and the cave of Polyphemus looked so inviting. We went in and sat around his fire, helping ourselves to food and drink. He came in and started FREAKING out. I gave him a lecture about hospitality and threatened him to keep his behavior in shape. In rage, he ate two of my men. He sealed his cave witha giant boulder that only he could move. How. Rude. I had a plan though, and later on I gave him a rich drink and he passed out. While he slept I heated a stake in the embers. (There are some unimportant details I'm leaving out, becuase I told Telemauchaus we would shoot some arrows in a little while.)Anyway, I ended up stabbing him in the eye and blinding him. I told him Nohbody had done it, that I was Nohbody. The other cyclops' came running and in response to their worries he said, "Nohbody has blinded me! Nohbody has hurt me!" They left, thinking he was fine. I know, I know, I'm just so clever. So eventually he let the sheep out of the cave and into the pastures. My men and I were tied to the bottom of the sheep. He could not see, and did not know we escpaed. Of course that was not the end. I taunted him, and said it was Odysseus who blinded him. He cursed me. He went crying to daddy, and Poesidon granted his wish. I was never to see my home again. If I somehow did, it was to be miserable. Great.
My men and I were tired and hungry and the cave of Polyphemus looked so inviting. We went in and sat around his fire, helping ourselves to food and drink. He came in and started FREAKING out. I gave him a lecture about hospitality and threatened him to keep his behavior in shape. In rage, he ate two of my men. He sealed his cave witha giant boulder that only he could move. How. Rude. I had a plan though, and later on I gave him a rich drink and he passed out. While he slept I heated a stake in the embers. (There are some unimportant details I'm leaving out, becuase I told Telemauchaus we would shoot some arrows in a little while.)Anyway, I ended up stabbing him in the eye and blinding him. I told him Nohbody had done it, that I was Nohbody. The other cyclops' came running and in response to their worries he said, "Nohbody has blinded me! Nohbody has hurt me!" They left, thinking he was fine. I know, I know, I'm just so clever. So eventually he let the sheep out of the cave and into the pastures. My men and I were tied to the bottom of the sheep. He could not see, and did not know we escpaed. Of course that was not the end. I taunted him, and said it was Odysseus who blinded him. He cursed me. He went crying to daddy, and Poesidon granted his wish. I was never to see my home again. If I somehow did, it was to be miserable. Great.
Stop 4: Island of Aeolia
Here I met my good pal, Aeolus, the "Keeper of the Winds". Before leaving the island, Aeolus gave me a bag that he had trapped all the winds in, except the one that would take us back to Ithaca. He warned me not to open the bag. Did I tell my crew? NO! They opened the bag, thinking it was riches. By doing so they released all the winds, just as we had sailed within sight of Ithaca. We were swept back to Aeolia by the violent winds.
Stop 5: Laestrygonians
This was the worst stop by far. All of my fleet and men were eaten by the cannibal giants. Only my crew and ship made it out safetly. May my men rest in peace.
Stop 6: Circe's Island, Aeaea
My ship washes up to the shores of Aeaea. My men go off in search of food and return scared out oftheir little minds. They say some of my men have been turned to animals. To pigs! I climb up to wear they will be found, but on the way Hermes stops by and hands me a plant. I can now drink what Circe gives me and not turn to a beast. I reach the top and see the beautiful seductress. Circe hands me a goblet and I drink every drop. I then tell her to turn my men back, and she says she will, if I go to bed with her. Time works differently on her island, and by the time I realize, a year has passed. She sends me off with a command to see the blind prophet, Tiresias, in the Underworld.
Stop 7: The Underworld
Here I spoke with the blind prophet, Tiresias. I brought an offering, a ram, so that he could tell me how to get home to Ithica. He told me a few things.
1. There are suitors at the palace in Ithaca competing for Penelpoe's hand
2. I am the only one who will return, all of my men will perish.
3. DO the mens' ears with beeswax when you go past the Sirens.
5. Sail close to Scylla, allow her to take six men, one for each head. If you sail near to Charybdis all of your men will be lost.
In this place I also saw Achilles, some of my old men, and my mother.
1. There are suitors at the palace in Ithaca competing for Penelpoe's hand
2. I am the only one who will return, all of my men will perish.
3. DO the mens' ears with beeswax when you go past the Sirens.
5. Sail close to Scylla, allow her to take six men, one for each head. If you sail near to Charybdis all of your men will be lost.
In this place I also saw Achilles, some of my old men, and my mother.
Stop 8: Aeaea
I return to collect the rest of my men, and Circe warns me of Scylla, Charybdis, and the cattle.
Stop 9: The Sirens
There is no need to worry. My men had beeswax in their ears. I however, wanted to hear the Siren's song. I told them that no matter how hard I fighted them and the ropes they had tied me in, that they were not to let me free. We made it through safely, and went on our way.
Stop 10: Scylla and Charybdis
I never told my crew that six of them would be lost, because I did not want them to panic and endanger the entire ship. We approached the narrow passage between Scylla, the six-headed monster, and Charybdis, the unforgiving whirlpool. I steered the ship cloe to Scylla and she grabbed six men, one for each head. I did not try to fight, and instead pushed forward, only losing six of my men.
Stop 11: Island of Helios
I did not even want to stop here. I had been warned not to touch the cattle of Helios, the Sun God. My men were tired and begged to just rest on the island. I agreed but commanded that they MUST NOT touch the cattle. They quickly agreed and we stopped at the island. I stayed to tie up the boat, and as I worked, one of my men led the others to belive I was a bad, untrustworthy, leader. He must have been crazy. Me? Odysseus? An untrustworthy leader? Anyway, they KILLED the cows. They would all pay. I left here alone.
Stop 12: Calypso's Island
I washed up on her shore and she took care of me. She gave me food, drink, and a safe place to stay, a place where Poesidon could not hurt me. She fell in love. Head over heels for me, not that I had expected anything different. I was unfaithful to Penelope the time I was there, which was 7 years. However, I started to really miss her. I would sit on a bolder, stare out across the sea, and weep all day. It was *uncomfortable cough* very manly crying, though.
Stop 13: Phaeacia
Here I washed up, almost dead, after feeling the wrath of Poesidon. The kind people here welcomed me, the war hero, and gave me a ship to sail back to Ithaca.
Stop 14: ITHACA
I arrive and do not realize I am at Ithaca at first. I am not sure what to do, now that I am really here. Athena helps me by changing my appearance to a beggar and telling me to go to Eumas's, the swineheards, house. I arrive and he welcomes me as the beggar. Soon Telemauchus comes, and Eumas embraces him and cries at his return like a father should. I am glad to see my son had a father figure while I could not be there for him. I reveal my identity to Telemauchus a while later, and plan to take back my palace. I arrive at the palace door and see my old dog, sitting atop a pile of waste. He recognizes my voice, and after seeing me return, he dies, finally seeing his master again. It breaks my heart to see the abuse that had come to him while I was away. I come to the door and beg to come in. Penelope did not refuse me because of hospitality rules. Once I am in I tell her I have news of Odysseus, and that he is alive and close to return. I also in the process become a suitor. The other men mock me, but I know that I am the only one who can win. Who else could string the Great Bow of Odysseus and shoot an aroow through twelve axe heads? I complete the task after Telemauchus and I had taken all of the suitors weapons from the room and locked the women saftely in the bed chambers. I then shot an arrow through the leader of the suitor's throat, starting the massacre. It was a blood bath in the hall. Afterward I hung all the maids who had been unfaithful. I disposed of the bodies and went to speak with Penelope, after Athena changed me back to Odysseus, of course. She could not belive it was me, but I surprised her by answering all of her questions in complete truth. I talked about where Telemauchus was born and the olive branch I carved into the bed-post, something only I would know. She embraced me and cried, and now... I could have everything back the way I wanted it.